Well, at the urging of my sister in law Alysa, here's my very first blog post.
When I was a child, there was a furniture store in town that sold transit-damaged freight, such as dressers and beds and refrigerators. My mother and I would go there to find cheap furniture any time our life situation required us to move, which was 18 times before I was 18. I remember thinking even as a child, "Why is this furniture cheaper than regular furniture?...It's made of the same thing, right?" I couldn't quite grasp why somehow, a small ding here and there, or a chip in the paint made it somehow less valuable. Personally, I thought it added character. Over time, I would learn to feel shame and constant upset if I could not achieve "perfection". My mom would search and search for a piece that wasn't obviously damaged, one that maybe had the damage on the rear side of the furniture...so the outward visible portion looked...perfect.
How many times in our lives do we discard people who aren't perfect?
For years I have (and still struggle with) placed a lesser value, a "discount" on myself for my many failures and flaws...both physical and emotional. I thought for so long if only I could portray to the world the "perfect" facade of myself, hiding and denying all imperfections, it would keep those in my life that I desperately wanted to reciprocate affection.
This is not the case.
Denying my damages for so long created more shame, more upset and eventually a denial of love toward myself...even from my husband, and eventually, from God.
We will let people down.
We will let ourselves down.
We must love those who let us down.
We must love those who don't know how to love themselves...
the way that God loves us, though we blatantly and selfishly continue to screw up.
We must not put a discount on ourselves.
We are worth every penny.
What imperfection and admitting your "damages" will do is...heal you.
When I was a child, there was a furniture store in town that sold transit-damaged freight, such as dressers and beds and refrigerators. My mother and I would go there to find cheap furniture any time our life situation required us to move, which was 18 times before I was 18. I remember thinking even as a child, "Why is this furniture cheaper than regular furniture?...It's made of the same thing, right?" I couldn't quite grasp why somehow, a small ding here and there, or a chip in the paint made it somehow less valuable. Personally, I thought it added character. Over time, I would learn to feel shame and constant upset if I could not achieve "perfection". My mom would search and search for a piece that wasn't obviously damaged, one that maybe had the damage on the rear side of the furniture...so the outward visible portion looked...perfect.
How many times in our lives do we discard people who aren't perfect?
For years I have (and still struggle with) placed a lesser value, a "discount" on myself for my many failures and flaws...both physical and emotional. I thought for so long if only I could portray to the world the "perfect" facade of myself, hiding and denying all imperfections, it would keep those in my life that I desperately wanted to reciprocate affection.
This is not the case.
Denying my damages for so long created more shame, more upset and eventually a denial of love toward myself...even from my husband, and eventually, from God.
We will let people down.
We will let ourselves down.
We must love those who let us down.
We must love those who don't know how to love themselves...
the way that God loves us, though we blatantly and selfishly continue to screw up.
We must not put a discount on ourselves.
We are worth every penny.
What imperfection and admitting your "damages" will do is...heal you.
